kaasirpent: (Default)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2016 04:30 pm

Today, I had a root canal.

I know what you're thinking. Your blood pressure spiked, you probably winced, and I'm betting that a good number of people reading this either ran their tongue over their teeth or actually touched their cheek(s).

Because root canal. The mere words conjure up all kinds of horrible images. If you've had one or if you haven't. Because if you haven't, everyone makes sure to tell you just how horrible they are. It seems to be a thing people absolutely must do. Like if you say you like Justin Bieber, Twilight, or Coldplay, people feel the need to tell you just how wrong you are, or question your sanity. Because people. :)

But I had one many years ago. Many, many years ago. Twenty-five of them, to be imprecise, but close. I had a wisdom tooth growing in sideways and eating away at the root of the tooth next to it. So I had the wisdom tooth removed by an oral surgeon, then had a root canal on the tooth next to it. In the same week.

So, yeah. Your root canal stories don't bug me, much. During that first one, I developed the intense need to pee. I mean, like, bladder bursting. Like 'dog walks across you and steps directly on your bladder while you need to go' level. So they let me. With the dental dam in my mouth and the thing that keeps your mouth open wide in place. Walked right through the waiting room and into the bathroom. And then made the mistake of looking at myself in the mirror. And couldn't go. And had to endure another hour of the root canal feeling like an overfilled water balloon.

So, today was fine.

Well, right up until the fire alarm.

So there I am, in the chair, dental dam in place, a rolled-up lab coat wrapped in plastic under my head because they didn't have a pillow, headphones on so I could listen to podcasts instead of the drill, sunglasses on to shield my eyes from the bright lights (Did I mention I tore my cornea this morning? No? Well, I tore my cornea this morning. So that was festive.), and suddenly, Whooooooooop! Whooooooooop! Whooooooooooop!

There was much scrambling around until someone came into the room to inform the doctor and the hygienist that it was a drill. The front desk of the building informed them right before the air raid siren went off that it was just a drill so no one would have to rush patients out into the street with, for instance, mouths propped wide open, a dental dam in place, and all kinds of suction equipment hanging out of their mouths.

Because that would have been too much fun.

As it was, we just had to listen to about fifteen minutes of that constant Whooooooooop! Whooooooooop! Whooooooooooop! The doctor was really annoyed by it. Like, so annoyed that she asked the hygienist to go check to see how long it was going to last. She said, "But they're not going to know that!" And there was a little "discussion" on that topic. And then the doctor asked another person who walked by to do the same thing, and there was another little "discussion" on the same topic. The doctor said it was really getting under her skin and she wasn't going to be able to take it for much longer and was going to have to just walk out on the patient ("haha just kidding") if it didn't — . . . which is when it finally stopped.

After it was all over, the discussion went back to how I have really nice skin, how I have the molar of a nineteen-year-old ("Your dentin was just full of blood! It was gushing everywhere!" I do not even want to know.), lobsters, noise-reduction headphones, and music selection.

On the plus side, I have a prescription for the good pain meds and some antibiotics to make sure we don't have to do this again.

On the minus side, my head is numb from about my left ear over to just to the right side of my chin, from the top of my ear down to about midway down my neck, my entire left cheek, half of my tongue, and most of the roof of my mouth. And I can't swallow, speak very well, or eat. She said the numbness would last "until about bedtime."

I'm fairly sure she isn't aware that 'bedtime' for me is anywhere from midnight to 2 AM, and will assume this means about 10 pm like normal people. But how I'm supposed to down three antibiotic pills without being able to swallow is . . . a mystery I shall have to solve later. For now, I'm at work trying to avoid having to talk to people, because my sibilant, labio-dental, linguo-labial, and fricative consonants are . . . a bit slurred (schflurred).

So . . . how was your day? :)

kaasirpent: (NaNoWriMo2011)
Sunday, November 6th, 2011 12:44 am
I'm charting my daily progress on NaNoWriMo. Since you may or may not care, I'll kindly hide it behind one of these here cut-thingies. )
kaasirpent: (Snake Eye)
Thursday, December 9th, 2010 03:53 pm
Tore my right cornea this morning. Wasn't too bad, but here it is late in the day and it still hurts. I've stayed home from work and have been listening to podcasts all day and working from home in short spurts.
kaasirpent: (Snake Eye)
Sunday, February 14th, 2010 11:24 am
I've removed the 'n' from 'Sunday' and replaced it with a 'ck.' Let's see if you agree.

I had dinner last night kind of late (strike 1). Afterward I was so very, very sleepy that, against my better judgment, I decided to go to bed (strike 2). I had also been up for quite a long time because I didn't get much sleep Friday night, so my eyes were gritty and itchy (strike 3).

So I went to bed at about 10:30.

At 12:30 I woke up with acid reflux (the results of strikes 1 and 2). It wasn't as bad as it could have been because I've been taking Nexium (the purple pill), so I chewed a Tums, put my bed bolster in place of my pillow, and decided to get the rest of my sleep sitting up instead of lying down. Such was my sleepiness that I don't even remember getting back in bed, but I must have.

Because at 4:03 I awoke abruptly and noticed two things immediately. Thing one was that my mouth was a veritable Death Valley of dryness. I keep a glass of water next to the bed for this reason. But thing two was that I had just torn the corneas of both eyes. This happens so seldom I keep close track, but on my Windows computer, which, for reasons that shall soon be made clear, I cannot check right now.

Now, there's not bloody much I can do about it when I tear both corneas. I sat in bed letting the tears flow, waiting out the pain, so I could get up and apply more ointment.

Did I mention that part of the reason I went to bed when I did in the first place was that I was very, very sleepy? Yeah. I fell asleep again. :(

I woke up at 6:37 and tore my left cornea again. The right one seems to be singly injured, but the left is definitely worse. This time, I was able to wait out the tears and stay awake long enough to apply more ointment. I also ditched the bed bolster and went back to a regular pillow.

And slept four more hours and only just got up about 45 minutes ago as I type this.

Thinking back, I'm fairly sure the reason for the corneal problems today is that when I woke up with the acid reflux, there were tears involved there, too, but I didn't put any more ointment in because 1) I wasn't thinking clearly and 2) I didn't think I needed to.

So, there we have it. Suckday.

I can barely see, and my eyes are ultrasensitive to light. And it's a beautiful, sunny day outside. And reflecting off snow, so it's doubly disgustingly bright. Even looking at The Shiny's bright screen for this long hurts like hell, and the reason I can't check my Windows computer for when the last time I tore both corneas is that there are 6 windows in that room, all overlooking my back yard, which is still full of snow. I can't even walk into that room without wearing sunglasses.

So, for the rest of the day, I'll be listening to something for entertainment. I can't look at a computer screen for more than a minute or two without searing pain, and the TV is right out.

So, y'all enjoy your damned beautiful day. See if I care. I'll just...go eat worms, or something.
kaasirpent: (Snake Eye)
Friday, January 1st, 2010 12:14 pm
So far, I'm not at all impressed by 2010. Why? My first act of 2010 was to tear my left cornea, and badly. And whereas the rest of this entire week has been dismal with overcast, gray skies, today is bright and sunshiny.

kaasirpent: (Snake Eye)
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 10:17 am
Today is another eye day. Tore my left cornea at around 5:30 AM when I woke up face-down in the pillow.

Fairly bad tear. Everything is a blur in my left eye, which makes typing an adventure. So I'm working from home. Which is just as well since we're supposed to get a flood again sometime today, and frankly, I don't want to drive in it. Not because I hate driving in rain so much as that I hate driving in Atlanta when any form of precipitation falls from the sky. People here lose all ability to think rationally when the roads are the slightest bit bad. It's torrentially raining and visibility is crap and the roads are flooding...so people want to drive 80mph while honking their horns because no one will let them kill themselves and others.


kaasirpent: (Holidays)
Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 04:44 pm

Background Information

A couple of weeks ago, I agreed that this weekend would be The Weekend™. The one where I bring home The Cats™. Nanny and Granddaddy's cats. Matt & Lucy. But we had to have them sedated because, having done the "unsedated cats in the car in Atlanta traffic" schtick before, I want no part of it. Ever. And neither do you. Trust me.

Along a totally unrelated subject but also a couple of weeks ago, in an email correspondence, I arranged with my cousin Jim Roebuck not only to attend the 110th Henderson Reunion (of which he was the organizer), but to enter the Brunswick Stew contest.1 The reunion was on July 4.

Click here for the rest. Read about parties! Food! Cats! Torn corneas! Alcoholic beverages! Family hymnals! Fireworks! )
kaasirpent: (Snake Eye)
Thursday, October 4th, 2007 06:23 pm
I'm not going to be screaming obscenities and ranting about anything or making any of you feel bad that I'm comparing you to fifth-grade dropouts because you might once have forgotten to capitalize a word in a book title. But I will be talking about eyes. And needles. And "Dremel tools."

Recurrent Corneal Erosion, revisited )

There. I'm done. No more talk about needles and eyes and "Dremel tools." You can relax.
kaasirpent: (Spam)
Monday, August 14th, 2006 01:18 pm
I haven't done this in a while because...well, because my spammers have been asleep on the job. All my spam is boring, now. It's all mortgage or stocks. *Yawn* These were constructed from the subjects of the 81 spams I received since midnight on my Yahoo.com account.

Those of you who've ever bought a new house and then had the joy of being on every mailing list for every mortgage and realty company for all time will identify with this one, which I call "Mortgage~~!!!"
Thank you for your recent purchase
Hello! Need a Mortgage?
How to buy homes: With Nothing!
Need Mortgage Loans?
Need Refinance, Debt Consolidate, Cash out
Need to Buy or Refinance your home? Get started today
A pre-approved loan~~!!!
Pre-approved loan for you!
Find the Great Mortgage Program~~!!!
Get a great Mortgage & Save money~
Refinance & Save your money today~~!!!
A pre-approved loan~~!!!
Find the Great Mortgage Program~~!!!
Get a great Mortgage & Save money~
Refinance & Save your money today~~!!!
Get a great Mortgage & Save money~
Refinance & Save your money today~~!!!

Refinance & Save your money today~~!!!
Brings a tear to my eye, it does. Or that might be because today was an eye-day (right). But I digress.

This next one I call "You are what you eat." If you read it in the right frame of mind, it's slightly risqué.
Any health troubles?
Few steps to become healthy!
Thank you for your recent purchase
don't be cooped up
We are pros in getting you laid
Emerging Growth Opportunity
Six professional power tools in one machine

Panty peek Panties Robin Parson
her sweaty milkbags were jumping in that ride
You are what you eat
*snif* You are what you eat, indeed.

And there you have it. Hope you enjoyed them. Stay tuned for more as soon as I get something other than Mortgage spam.

*chortle* "sweaty milkbags" At least that's semi-creative.
kaasirpent: (Dream)
Sunday, July 25th, 2004 02:27 am
I talked to my mother earlier this evening and she just happened to mention in passing that last night, she dreamed that the birds we used to have and which now belong to a co-worker of mine both died. First the male, then the female.

Oddly enough, I had a very similar dream last night as well. What makes this even more odd is that I almost never remember my dreams, but because I shredded my left cornea this morning when I woke up at 5:43 AM, I was up for about 30 minutes letting the tearing (as in water leaking from my eyes, not ripping) stop. I had been having a very odd dream before that, and because it was interrupted, I remembered parts of it. And because it was so very odd (and similar to one I've had before), I sort of mulled it over in my half-asleep phase, and I remember consciously thinking, "Maybe I can finish that dream" when I lay back down.

When I went back to bed with more ointment to help heal the eye, the dream "continued," including the death of both birds (under mysterious circumstances--they were still upright on their perch). And then their return (they weren't actually completely dead--they were just...kind of really scared and they gave every impression of being dead).

Then they turned into large, purple-down-covered parrot-like birds for a few minutes, then turned back into themselves. And at that point, a third bird was in the cage with them. A little finch with a red beak.

Yeah, I don't know, either.

Did I also mention that both [livejournal.com profile] ddreslough and [livejournal.com profile] ian_smith were in the dream?

Anyway, a very odd dream-element for us both to share. Except, of course, that we both have kind hearts and, even though neither of us could care for the birds in the manner they need, we still like and miss the little things, and since neither of us really knows the woman who got them....

This is the part I almost hate to admit, because some of you will be thinking I've turned into some sort of crazed fanboy or something but....

For a large part of the second half of the dream, I was Harry Potter.

What? You didn't hear that? Well, I said that, for a large part of the second half of the dream, I was Harry Potter.

Yes, dammit, that's what I said! Harry freaking Potter! I don't get it, either. It's not like I alter my life to be like Harry or dress like him or even think about him or the books for even a millisecond every day. And it's not like I lust after Hermione, either. She was in the dream, too. And no, dammit, not in that way. We were running for our lives, she and I, from some demon-looking things...and ended up nearly destroying an underground bazaar (I mean that literally as well as figuratively--it was both subterranean and 'shady') before eluding our pursuers...or so we thought. And then Hermione kicked their asses with some well-aimed wand action just when we thought we'd gotten away from them.

At the end of the dream, though, she ended up having to take a bunch of classes over because either her grades fell or she had incompletes from missing too many classes. I couldn't tell which. But McGonagall seemed very disappointed....

[Random Thought: Does Hogwarts even have Summer classes?]

And no, I didn't eat anything weird before going to bed. Nor did I read anything weird or watch anything weirder than M*A*S*H episodes on DVD.

The frightening part is that I probably have dreams like this all the time, but don't remember them because I don't wake up during the dream.
kaasirpent: (Dream)
Tuesday, February 10th, 2004 09:53 am
Paging Dr. Freud. Paging Dr. Sigmund Freud. Will Dr. Freud please pick up the white courtesy phone....

Herein there be freakiness )

I don't presume to know what it "means," nor do I attch any significance to it other than another freaky dream I can remember vividly for a while after waking up.

Oh, yeah. The reason I'm still in bed at 9:00 on a Tuesday? I woke up at 7:00 and ripped my right cornea. So I had to go back to bed for a couple of hours with medicated ointment in my eye in order to be able to function later in the day. As I type this, the screen is a tad blurry, but it's nothing I can't compensate for.

So...anyone noticed glowing women who turn into black cats, lately? :)

I do find it amusing that the only four people in the dream I can say I absolutely can identify were [livejournal.com profile] steelman, with whom I work, one of the other DBAs, and two other people at CareerBuilder with whom I work. Neither of whom I've ever socialized with. It was weird. :)
kaasirpent: (Snake Eye)
Monday, January 13th, 2003 11:22 pm
[livejournal.com profile] dietbubba asked earlier how many times the whole ripping of the cornea thing has happened.

In February, 1999 (I checked my personal Journal), I woke up one morning and it felt like I had an eyelash the size of a sequoia in my eye. I flushed water through it, squirted copious amounts of Murine and Visine in there—nothing did any good. Eventually, as the day wore on, it got better, so I didn't think anything of it.

Until it happened the second time. Then I went to my optometrist. He put that icky yellow dye in my eyes and, after looking at my eyes for what seemed like a long time, told me that I had torn the cornea of my right eye. I asked, "How?"

He told me that I have extremely dry eyes. So dry that he recommended that I have the ducts that drain tears out of my eyes into my nose plugged so that the tears would stay in my eyes. But that's another story. Anyway, because my eyes are so dry, during the night, while I'm sleeping, my eyes get "gummy." This gumminess turns into a cement that adheres the inner surface of my eyelid to the outer surface of my eye (i.e., the cornea). The alarm goes off. I open my eyes reflexively. The uppermost layer of skin of the small portion of the cornea that is cemented to the eyelid...comes off.

He further explained that this doesn't just happen. He said that I could go my entire life with dry eyes and never tear my cornea, because the cornea is usually attached to the eye pretty tightly. However, if you get a small cut or tear on the cornea, it can cause a section of it to become loose.

You know how when you have a paper cut on your finger, after you take a shower, the skin to either side of the paper cut is kind of standing apart from the skin beneath it? Exactly the same kind of thing.

He did, in fact, ask me if I had gotten a papercut on my eye. (I don't know how this would happen, either. I don't want to know.) Alternatively, I might have accidentally damaged the cornea while rubbing my eye by either scratching it with a fingernail or rubbing too hard at my eye while an eyelash was on top of my cornea.

So he gave me some ointment called Muro 128 that I basically have been putting in my eyes before bed, now, for almost 4 years. Except that Muro 128 is expensive (> $20 for a .125-oz tube), so I also use Bauch & Lomb, Lacrilube, and other brands that are much less expensive (< $10 for a .125-oz tube), but don't work as well.

You might want to skip this part if you're squeamish. :)

As for how it feels? Well, imagine if you will breaking your fingernail off above the quick. You know that burn as the air hits that suddenly exposed area of subdermal cells? Or...how about when you have a hangnail and you put your hand in your pocket without thinking and the edge of your pocket just happens to hit that little flap of skin and peels it back, exposing raw flesh underneath? Or how about when you have a scab over a fresh sore and something happens that tears that scab off before it's ready to come off?

Now, imagine that pain in your eye. When your eye is open, the air burns. When you close your eye, it feels like the inner surface of your eyelid is sandpaper.

When I tear my cornea, I know it instantly. I get up and grope my way into the bathroom, tears streaming out from that eye. I manage to find the ointment and maybe get some into my eye, but because the tears are coming fast and furious, I usually have to put some in, let the tears wash it out, put some more, let the tears wash it out...ad nauseum. Until the tears aren't strong enough to wash it away. Then I have to grope my way back to the bed and get at least another hour (preferably two) of sleep. Meanwhile, blinking or any movement of my eyelid feels like someone dragging 60-grit sandpaper over my eye. Try going to sleep faced with that.

For the rest of that day, the eye feels like your eyes do on a cold day when the wind blows right into your face. I'm sensitive to light to an amazing degree, including having to wear dark glasses inside my office. It's a wonder I've not been selected for random drug testing. :) When I look at a light source (headlights, stars, lights on telephone poles, taillights, hard drive lights, etc.), I see a halo around each one that is roughly the shape of the exposed area on my cornea.I can't just take a nap anytime I want to or, if I stay out too late visiting friends, I can't just crash at their place. Every time I sleep has to be very premeditated.

By the second morning, I can't tell anything happened.

It's something I've learned to live with.

The worst part of it all, though, is that I can't just take a nap anytime I want to or, if I stay out too late visiting friends, I can't just crash at their place. Every time I sleep has to be very premeditated. If I don't have the ointment, it's best to just stay awake or make myself wake up every hour or so. If I fall asleep reading in bed, there's Hell to pay the next day.

So...that's the whole, sordid story in far too much detail. But people had asked, and now I have somewhere to point to when they do. And I'll probably copy this over to my web site, too. :)

[Update 4/25/2011] I wrote a much later follow-up post to this one when I had some better information from my ophthalmologist in Atlanta. Please feel free to continue reading here. (From 10/4/2007.)