And now it's time, once again, for: SPAM Poetry™

[kaasirpent]

As before, these are actual subject lines I've received as spam over the last month. I've only taken liberty with punctuation (a few of the questions weren't questions but should have been) and removing asqslkdgjhaLEKTJ and the like from the end of the subject. Enjoy.

Are you entirely happy with your...
     Blind Date?
     baseball?
     Subscription List?
     contractor?
     dihedral vector?
     empire?
     endpoint bang?
     investment proposition?
     Muscular Aches?
     tree trunk?
     Amateur Honeypot?
     car rental benefits?
     college orgies?
     frostbite?
     lacy halibut agrimony?
     finicky brainchildren?

Are you sure?
size does matter
Boost Everything Right Away!
You will add inches with this amazing pill
Don't try anything else

Listen closely!
It's your right!
I'm not gonna ask again
time is ticking...
Don't wait too long...
Don't waste your life...
It's your life....
It's too good to pass up!
It's not a dream!
Just check it out
I've tried it, trust me!
I oughtta know!

[finis]

It's been a while since I did a SPAM Poem™. Most of my SPAM these days is very concerned with the size of my penis. In fact, I'd say my spammers are quite obsessed with it. I'm touched--really--but they should let me worry (or not) about that. :)

Comments

[brightspot.livejournal.com]

You know, they're very concerned about the size of my penis too, these days...and considering that I don't even have one, that sort of worries me. ;o)

[kaasirpent]

Look at it from this point of view:

All the 'penis size' spam seems to indicate that men are much more concerned about size than women. Or much more likely to take leave of our senses and give money to a spammer from whom we received random email than women.

Either way, it implies that even spammers know that women are brighter than men.

:)

-- Finding the silver lining in anything, from any viewpoint, since 1992.

[brightspot.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!! Very good point!!

Unless....they are marketing to women so desperate for a 'full size" man that they will give their money away to the scary spammers???

I want to smack anyone who buys *anything* from spammers...I really do.