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Tonight's meeting of the writers group was the first one during which I felt comfortable enough to really participate. I feel like I have a bit of a handle on the people who are "regulars" and I've gotten familiar with some of their quirks and habits. It was also my first contribution of something to be critiqued.
I took copies of the vampire story I wrote...a while back, but which I relatively recently edited to post here for your critiques, and then re-edited to take some of the things you guys had to say into account.
I mentioned last time that I was taking this story with me because I knew it had some problems, and I was aware of some of those problems, and was hoping they could point out some more.
Well, there was another new person, so we went around and introduced ourselves and told what we write again, and I made the joking comment that it's not a good thing to be one of my main characters because bad things tend to happen to you. And then one of them asked me a question I'd never been asked before, and it took me by surprise. "Why would I want to read one of your stories, then, if I know going in that the main character is going to 'get it'?"
I stammered out that it has more to do with the journey than the destination, which is a lame answer, but she seemed to like it, so I'll stick to that. :) But it makes me think that perhaps I should rethink always picking the darker subjects to write about. :)
They asked for the background of the story. (Note: Every single one of them is writing a novel.) Again, I was taken aback because this is a 2500-word short story. You don't normally give background. You just...read it. It has to stand on its own or it's not a very successful short story. So I limped through that (I know the background, mind you, I just didn't want to give away too much). Finally, I got to read.
I hurried through it because I was nervous. I've spoken in front of large groups, but no one was going to sit in judgment of me after those, and it was never something creative I had written. No one told me to slow down, so I kept going. To me, it felt boring as I was reading it. Like it was taking too long to get into the action, given the length of the story. (These are the known problems I mentioned.)
So I got through...and no one said a single word. For several seconds. It was harrowing.
Then, the consensus seemed to be that they liked it! They said it drew them in and made them want to read the second half, and one woman who is not going to be there for the next two weeks made me promise to bring her the second half so she could find out how it ends. They liked the fact that I included all five senses, and one of them even said she hated vampire stories, but mine interested her because it seemed different.
They also gave me some really wonderful pointers. I overuse a number of words in the story that I wasn't aware of, and have a habit of starting sentences the same way over and over again. I need to find some different phrasing, and also break up the monotony of my sentence structure. They suggested that in the short, 1200-word segment that I read, Mrs. Atherton is both confident and flustered, and that I should play up the outward and inward emotions more, and to remember that this is a vampire and that fear would likely play a role, as well. All very good suggestions, and I have already begun rethinking parts of the story in my head. :)
They picked up on some stuff I had thought was too subtle, so I'm glad. I can leave that stuff alone and not strengthen it. I think I finally understand what "over-thinking a story" means. :)
All in all, I'm quite happy with the results. I'm surprised that instead of thinking that the opening was plodding and slow, they felt it drew them in and made them understand what kind of person Mrs. Atherton is. Which is what I was aiming for, so I guess I succeeded without realizing it. I've read it about a gajillion times. I have no more perspective. :)
So...yay! I'll take the second half in next week and hope they continue to like it when they see what's going to happen to poor Mrs. Atherton. Several of them can't seem to get it through their heads that this is not a novel and that I'm going to all the trouble of building up this character...so I can kill her in 1200 more words. :) We'll see.
I took copies of the vampire story I wrote...a while back, but which I relatively recently edited to post here for your critiques, and then re-edited to take some of the things you guys had to say into account.
I mentioned last time that I was taking this story with me because I knew it had some problems, and I was aware of some of those problems, and was hoping they could point out some more.
Well, there was another new person, so we went around and introduced ourselves and told what we write again, and I made the joking comment that it's not a good thing to be one of my main characters because bad things tend to happen to you. And then one of them asked me a question I'd never been asked before, and it took me by surprise. "Why would I want to read one of your stories, then, if I know going in that the main character is going to 'get it'?"
I stammered out that it has more to do with the journey than the destination, which is a lame answer, but she seemed to like it, so I'll stick to that. :) But it makes me think that perhaps I should rethink always picking the darker subjects to write about. :)
They asked for the background of the story. (Note: Every single one of them is writing a novel.) Again, I was taken aback because this is a 2500-word short story. You don't normally give background. You just...read it. It has to stand on its own or it's not a very successful short story. So I limped through that (I know the background, mind you, I just didn't want to give away too much). Finally, I got to read.
I hurried through it because I was nervous. I've spoken in front of large groups, but no one was going to sit in judgment of me after those, and it was never something creative I had written. No one told me to slow down, so I kept going. To me, it felt boring as I was reading it. Like it was taking too long to get into the action, given the length of the story. (These are the known problems I mentioned.)
So I got through...and no one said a single word. For several seconds. It was harrowing.
Then, the consensus seemed to be that they liked it! They said it drew them in and made them want to read the second half, and one woman who is not going to be there for the next two weeks made me promise to bring her the second half so she could find out how it ends. They liked the fact that I included all five senses, and one of them even said she hated vampire stories, but mine interested her because it seemed different.
They also gave me some really wonderful pointers. I overuse a number of words in the story that I wasn't aware of, and have a habit of starting sentences the same way over and over again. I need to find some different phrasing, and also break up the monotony of my sentence structure. They suggested that in the short, 1200-word segment that I read, Mrs. Atherton is both confident and flustered, and that I should play up the outward and inward emotions more, and to remember that this is a vampire and that fear would likely play a role, as well. All very good suggestions, and I have already begun rethinking parts of the story in my head. :)
They picked up on some stuff I had thought was too subtle, so I'm glad. I can leave that stuff alone and not strengthen it. I think I finally understand what "over-thinking a story" means. :)
All in all, I'm quite happy with the results. I'm surprised that instead of thinking that the opening was plodding and slow, they felt it drew them in and made them understand what kind of person Mrs. Atherton is. Which is what I was aiming for, so I guess I succeeded without realizing it. I've read it about a gajillion times. I have no more perspective. :)
So...yay! I'll take the second half in next week and hope they continue to like it when they see what's going to happen to poor Mrs. Atherton. Several of them can't seem to get it through their heads that this is not a novel and that I'm going to all the trouble of building up this character...so I can kill her in 1200 more words. :) We'll see.
Don't Sweat that one...maybe her name's Mary Sue. :)
Joanne Bertin told me once: "Take your main character, make the audience love them as much as you do...then, chase 'em up a tree and throw rocks at them!"
But, on other side of the coin, don't do what what's-her-face...the lady who wrote those Stronghold...Melanie Rawn! That's the name. Don't do that. She didn't chase 'em up a tree and throw rocks. She stabbed them through the face with the tree and then...well, I won't even say what she did with the rocks. I don't read those books no-more. :)
Re: Don't Sweat that one...maybe her name's Mary Sue. :)
<smiling brightly while carefully kicking his current WIP under a large piece of furniture>
Heh, me? Do that? Never. :)
By the way, whatever happened to Joanne Bertin? She left me hanging! She went and had a baby, she did, and I haven't seen hide nor hair of her name on a book spine since then. She has unfinished story, dammit!
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Sounds like an evening well spent.