People Never Cease to Amaze Me

[kaasirpent]

I make no secret of the fact that I can't stand most people. Not you, of course; I'm talking about them.

 

I'm in Las Vegas for TAM, an annual meeting of skeptics from around the world. Vegas gives me lots of examples to illustrate my problem with people.

 

The buffet opens at 8:00 am on Saturday. I know this because I saw it on the huge sign that said "Saturday/Sunday Brunch -- 8:00 am - 3:00 pm."

 

When I went down for brunch, it was 7:34 am. No one was in line. I decided, "Eh, why not? I got nothing better to do for 26 minutes." So I got in line.

 

Immediately, people got in line behind me, as though they were waiting for a catalyst.

 

And what did every single person ask me when they got in line behind me? That's right! "What time do they open?"

 

I'd like to point out once again that I was standing right beside a huge sign that answered their question.

 

Then, they'd look at their watches and sigh. And about half of them walked away, grumbling under their breath about how they didn't have time to wait that long.

 

So, let's get this straight: you'll sit in front of slot machines for hours feeding them coin after coin after coin for hours, but a 20-plus-minute wait for breakfast is where you'll draw the line? Interesting.

 

Then we have the people who approached the buffet, walked past the line of people waiting to get in, cut in line in front of me and asked the cashiers, who were getting things ready, "What time do you open?"

 

Alternatively, those same people who walked past all the people waiting in line would then walk into the dining area and act stunned when they were then told, "We're not open, yet." What in the actual fuck did they think all of us waiting in line were doing, exactly?

 

Then came the pièce de resistance. A woman dressed in very nice cream-colored business clothes and a name plaque barged in front of the line and said, "I have a large party of six."

 

When told, "We open in 15 minutes," she said, "Can't we go ahead and be seated? I have a large party."

 

The cashier said, "Ma'am, we aren't open, yet. The line is over there."

 

The woman huffed off. A minute or two later, she comes back with a guy in tow. Once again she wants to be seated. Once again, she is told to wait in line. Once again, she huffs off. Finally, she comes back again and ends up convincing the cashiers that she will wait in line, but her party will wait in a separate line.

 

Grinning, she hurries off. Soon, five people, all in business clothes, break in line in front of me and are told, "No, your line is over there."

 

They go and instead of standing in their own, special line, they barge into the dining area, and have to be told, again, to form their own separate line.

 

And people wonder why I hate people.

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