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I'm not going to be screaming obscenities and ranting about anything or making any of you feel bad that I'm comparing you to fifth-grade dropouts because you might once have forgotten to capitalize a word in a book title. But I will be talking about eyes. And needles. And "Dremel tools."
As anyone who has read this journal for long realizes, I occasionally have what I like to refer to as "an eye day." That means that when I wake up and open my eyes, part of my cornea which is not firmly attached to the cells in the next-lower level cements itself to my eyelid and is ripped, unceremoniously, from the surface of my eye.
It is quite as painful as it sounds. It's been happening to me on a periodic basis since approximately February of 1998. There's ointment I use, and there are things I can do if I think about it to help lower the chance of it happening, but up 'til now, I've not had anyone tell me that there was anything I could do about it.
Well, I just got back from my new ophthalmologist. My PCP (Primary Care Physician)—who is also my "diabetes doctor"—urged me to see him. So I did. My eyes have been getting progressively worse (normal aging), and I had only been putting off a visit to the optometrist because I don't want bifocals. (Not for the reason you may think. See below.)
So I had the appointment today. I'm typing this dilated so I'm not sure that the words in my head are actually making it out through my fingers and onto the screen because I can't actually read much of what I'm writing. :)
Anyway, he gave me a prescription for distance glasses (for driving, watching movies, TV—anything more than about 12 feet away) and I'll be getting them when I can actually focus my eyes to see frames and such. And maybe when someone's around to help me pick. I'm awful at picking things like that. My vision insurance hasn't found as many ways to fuck me over as....never mind. I'm not going into that again. He said as long as I can read books and magazines without glasses to just keep doing that until it gets to the point where I need augmentation. However, since I spend 8 to 15 hours a day staring fixedly at a computer screen that is right at the threshold between distance vision and close-up vision, bifocals or "progressive lenses" aren't a good fit for me. It could actually cause me more strain because I'd have to hold my head in a certain position to see the screen. I figured as much, and really don't want bifocals. It has nothing to do with bifocals meaning I'm "old" or anything like that. I'll be 43 in April. Some of you will think that's ancient and some of you will think I'm a child. Age is relative. But back to my original point....
So as we're finishing up, I asked him about recurrent corneal erosion. He explained what I already knew—that it's caused when a layer of cells of the cornea doesn't "grab hold" of the collagen layer beneath it tightly enough, so it is easy to separate and come off. The best analogy I can come up with is when you get a blister. The skin is raised a little off the layer of skin beneath it, and the only reason it's hanging on is that the cells around its edge are attached and so are holding it on. But if you do anything to cause that loose skin to break free, it just comes right off. Same thing with my eyes.
That's when I said, "I don't suppose there's anything you can actually do about it, is there?" in kind of a resigned tone. Boy, was I surprised when he said, "Yes, there are a couple of things we can try."
You might want to stop reading, now.
Seriously. If you're squeamish about eyes. And needles. And "Dremel tools."
He said that next time it happens1, if I will arrange to come in, he can deaden my cornea and then use what amounts to a very small "Dremel tool" to abrade the collagen layer in the area where the cornea isn't attached well so that when the new cells grow over the "wound," they'll more firmly attach because there'll be a rough surface for them to "grab" hold of.
Alternatively, he can do the same thing with a small needle, basically making very tiny holes in the collagen for the same effect.
Then they'd put what I believe he said was a "contact bandage" on that eye and we'd leave it for a few days until it healed up. And then we'd see if that makes me less likely to have further incidents in that eye.
It should tell you just how much it hurts when I tear my cornea that I'm actually considering doing this. The mere thought of someone coming at me with a needle or a small "Dremel tool" to effectively grind or scrape my eye causes every neuron in my body to fire simultaneously in sympathetic imagined pain. But it's hope, for me.
I have to be so very careful that I can't just take a nap for fear that I'll rip a cornea. And afternoon naps on the couch are a glorious thing, but not if you have to plan them. If I fall asleep watching TV, it could mean serious pain when I wake up. If I wanted to sleep on an airplane, tough. When I put the ointment in my eyes, I'm effectively blind until I wash it out with warm water, so using it on a crowded plane is not a fantastic idea. If I could just not have to worry so much about ripping my corneas, it would mean a lot. So, yeah. I'm considering it.
There. I'm done. No more talk about needles and eyes and "Dremel tools." You can relax.
As anyone who has read this journal for long realizes, I occasionally have what I like to refer to as "an eye day." That means that when I wake up and open my eyes, part of my cornea which is not firmly attached to the cells in the next-lower level cements itself to my eyelid and is ripped, unceremoniously, from the surface of my eye.
It is quite as painful as it sounds. It's been happening to me on a periodic basis since approximately February of 1998. There's ointment I use, and there are things I can do if I think about it to help lower the chance of it happening, but up 'til now, I've not had anyone tell me that there was anything I could do about it.
Well, I just got back from my new ophthalmologist. My PCP (Primary Care Physician)—who is also my "diabetes doctor"—urged me to see him. So I did. My eyes have been getting progressively worse (normal aging), and I had only been putting off a visit to the optometrist because I don't want bifocals. (Not for the reason you may think. See below.)
So I had the appointment today. I'm typing this dilated so I'm not sure that the words in my head are actually making it out through my fingers and onto the screen because I can't actually read much of what I'm writing. :)
Anyway, he gave me a prescription for distance glasses (for driving, watching movies, TV—anything more than about 12 feet away) and I'll be getting them when I can actually focus my eyes to see frames and such. And maybe when someone's around to help me pick. I'm awful at picking things like that. My vision insurance hasn't found as many ways to fuck me over as....never mind. I'm not going into that again. He said as long as I can read books and magazines without glasses to just keep doing that until it gets to the point where I need augmentation. However, since I spend 8 to 15 hours a day staring fixedly at a computer screen that is right at the threshold between distance vision and close-up vision, bifocals or "progressive lenses" aren't a good fit for me. It could actually cause me more strain because I'd have to hold my head in a certain position to see the screen. I figured as much, and really don't want bifocals. It has nothing to do with bifocals meaning I'm "old" or anything like that. I'll be 43 in April. Some of you will think that's ancient and some of you will think I'm a child. Age is relative. But back to my original point....
So as we're finishing up, I asked him about recurrent corneal erosion. He explained what I already knew—that it's caused when a layer of cells of the cornea doesn't "grab hold" of the collagen layer beneath it tightly enough, so it is easy to separate and come off. The best analogy I can come up with is when you get a blister. The skin is raised a little off the layer of skin beneath it, and the only reason it's hanging on is that the cells around its edge are attached and so are holding it on. But if you do anything to cause that loose skin to break free, it just comes right off. Same thing with my eyes.
That's when I said, "I don't suppose there's anything you can actually do about it, is there?" in kind of a resigned tone. Boy, was I surprised when he said, "Yes, there are a couple of things we can try."
You might want to stop reading, now.
Seriously. If you're squeamish about eyes. And needles. And "Dremel tools."
He said that next time it happens1, if I will arrange to come in, he can deaden my cornea and then use what amounts to a very small "Dremel tool" to abrade the collagen layer in the area where the cornea isn't attached well so that when the new cells grow over the "wound," they'll more firmly attach because there'll be a rough surface for them to "grab" hold of.
Alternatively, he can do the same thing with a small needle, basically making very tiny holes in the collagen for the same effect.
Then they'd put what I believe he said was a "contact bandage" on that eye and we'd leave it for a few days until it healed up. And then we'd see if that makes me less likely to have further incidents in that eye.
It should tell you just how much it hurts when I tear my cornea that I'm actually considering doing this. The mere thought of someone coming at me with a needle or a small "Dremel tool" to effectively grind or scrape my eye causes every neuron in my body to fire simultaneously in sympathetic imagined pain. But it's hope, for me.
I have to be so very careful that I can't just take a nap for fear that I'll rip a cornea. And afternoon naps on the couch are a glorious thing, but not if you have to plan them. If I fall asleep watching TV, it could mean serious pain when I wake up. If I wanted to sleep on an airplane, tough. When I put the ointment in my eyes, I'm effectively blind until I wash it out with warm water, so using it on a crowded plane is not a fantastic idea. If I could just not have to worry so much about ripping my corneas, it would mean a lot. So, yeah. I'm considering it.
- He said he needs to see the place when it's actually torn so he can get an idea of the shape and size. He seemed amused when I told him that it was roughly Nevada shaped because I see Nevada around every point source of light for a day or two after I have a tear. Hey, maybe it's the Universe's way of sending me a message! "Go to Las Vegas," it's telling me! It wants me to gamble! Or...perhaps get a hooker. Or both! Who knows?
There. I'm done. No more talk about needles and eyes and "Dremel tools." You can relax.
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