You might want to skip this post, too. But not for the same reason.

[kaasirpent]

I'm not going to be screaming obscenities and ranting about anything or making any of you feel bad that I'm comparing you to fifth-grade dropouts because you might once have forgotten to capitalize a word in a book title. But I will be talking about eyes. And needles. And "Dremel tools."


As anyone who has read this journal for long realizes, I occasionally have what I like to refer to as "an eye day." That means that when I wake up and open my eyes, part of my cornea which is not firmly attached to the cells in the next-lower level cements itself to my eyelid and is ripped, unceremoniously, from the surface of my eye.

It is quite as painful as it sounds. It's been happening to me on a periodic basis since approximately February of 1998. There's ointment I use, and there are things I can do if I think about it to help lower the chance of it happening, but up 'til now, I've not had anyone tell me that there was anything I could do about it.

Well, I just got back from my new ophthalmologist. My PCP (Primary Care Physician)—who is also my "diabetes doctor"—urged me to see him. So I did. My eyes have been getting progressively worse (normal aging), and I had only been putting off a visit to the optometrist because I don't want bifocals. (Not for the reason you may think. See below.)

So I had the appointment today. I'm typing this dilated so I'm not sure that the words in my head are actually making it out through my fingers and onto the screen because I can't actually read much of what I'm writing. :)

Anyway, he gave me a prescription for distance glasses (for driving, watching movies, TV—anything more than about 12 feet away) and I'll be getting them when I can actually focus my eyes to see frames and such. And maybe when someone's around to help me pick. I'm awful at picking things like that. My vision insurance hasn't found as many ways to fuck me over as....never mind. I'm not going into that again. He said as long as I can read books and magazines without glasses to just keep doing that until it gets to the point where I need augmentation. However, since I spend 8 to 15 hours a day staring fixedly at a computer screen that is right at the threshold between distance vision and close-up vision, bifocals or "progressive lenses" aren't a good fit for me. It could actually cause me more strain because I'd have to hold my head in a certain position to see the screen. I figured as much, and really don't want bifocals. It has nothing to do with bifocals meaning I'm "old" or anything like that. I'll be 43 in April. Some of you will think that's ancient and some of you will think I'm a child. Age is relative. But back to my original point....

So as we're finishing up, I asked him about recurrent corneal erosion. He explained what I already knew—that it's caused when a layer of cells of the cornea doesn't "grab hold" of the collagen layer beneath it tightly enough, so it is easy to separate and come off. The best analogy I can come up with is when you get a blister. The skin is raised a little off the layer of skin beneath it, and the only reason it's hanging on is that the cells around its edge are attached and so are holding it on. But if you do anything to cause that loose skin to break free, it just comes right off. Same thing with my eyes.

That's when I said, "I don't suppose there's anything you can actually do about it, is there?" in kind of a resigned tone. Boy, was I surprised when he said, "Yes, there are a couple of things we can try."

You might want to stop reading, now.

Seriously. If you're squeamish about eyes. And needles. And "Dremel tools."

He said that next time it happens¹, if I will arrange to come in, he can deaden my cornea and then use what amounts to a very small "Dremel tool" to abrade the collagen layer in the area where the cornea isn't attached well so that when the new cells grow over the "wound," they'll more firmly attach because there'll be a rough surface for them to "grab" hold of.

Alternatively, he can do the same thing with a small needle, basically making very tiny holes in the collagen for the same effect.

Then they'd put what I believe he said was a "contact bandage" on that eye and we'd leave it for a few days until it healed up. And then we'd see if that makes me less likely to have further incidents in that eye.

It should tell you just how much it hurts when I tear my cornea that I'm actually considering doing this. The mere thought of someone coming at me with a needle or a small "Dremel tool" to effectively grind or scrape my eye causes every neuron in my body to fire simultaneously in sympathetic imagined pain. But it's hope, for me.

I have to be so very careful that I can't just take a nap for fear that I'll rip a cornea. And afternoon naps on the couch are a glorious thing, but not if you have to plan them. If I fall asleep watching TV, it could mean serious pain when I wake up. If I wanted to sleep on an airplane, tough. When I put the ointment in my eyes, I'm effectively blind until I wash it out with warm water, so using it on a crowded plane is not a fantastic idea. If I could just not have to worry so much about ripping my corneas, it would mean a lot. So, yeah. I'm considering it.

---

1. He said he needs to see the place when it's actually torn so he can get an idea of the shape and size. He seemed amused when I told him that it was roughly Nevada shaped because I see Nevada around every point source of light for a day or two after I have a tear. Hey, maybe it's the Universe's way of sending me a message! "Go to Las Vegas," it's telling me! It wants me to gamble! Or...perhaps get a hooker. Or both! Who knows?

There. I'm done. No more talk about needles and eyes and "Dremel tools." You can relax.

Comments

[cylver.livejournal.com]

Well, if it works, the pain from having him jab needles in your eye will be temporary, and if it doesn't, you never have to do it again.

And at least you've found the ONE THING that doesn't beat a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

And getting hookers is gambling, never let anyone tell you different.

[slymongoose.livejournal.com]

I say, "Go for it, Snakey-Pants!"

I'd also say to try it ASAP (healing from a point of "normalcy" I feel gives a better chance for the bod to heal right - replicating the shape of the cells as they should be and not exaggerating any bumps caused by the process - but WTF do I know? I'm no eye doc!), but I can see his point about seeing the damage, first-hand, first.

I wish I was nearby so I could be your Seeing-Eye Mongoose. Wouldn't that be a hoot? But, Dayum, Boy! I can almost imagine the pain/terror of such a hell gained merely by opening your eyelids. Gah! Just thinking about it makes my spine feel like it's been turned into a chalkboard that a sadistic monster is scraping chalk on. EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee!

There's a scary novel just aching to be written by Stephen king in your tale. I'd demand 10% for your consulting fee. That way you could pay me 1% of that for the idea. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

HUGS,
The Mongoose

[kaasirpent]

Actually, he can't do the procedure until I rip each eye again because when it heals over, it's just like anywhere else on your body that you get a blister or paper cut--once it's healed, you can't tell there was a wound. There's no scarring.

So until I rip it again, he won't be able to see where the weak spot is so that he can abrade it.

*shudder* "Abrade." That is such an awful word. :)

IMHO

[oneeyeddaruma.livejournal.com]

The best part would be the marked decrease in your need to use "ointment." Both the stuff, and the word. Watching Un Chien Andalou would make your procedure seem tame...try it.

[bigmeanie.livejournal.com]

I'm so relieved that you have a procedural option that I'm not even feeling squicked about what the option is!

(I think a "bandage contact" is what eye docs use for people who've had corneal surgeries. It's not a corrective lens; it just sits there and protects the cornea while it heals, so that the cornea is not exposed to air and all its nasties. Someone we know had RPK surgery last week, and she had bandage contacts in place while the healing was first going on.)

[kaasirpent]

Ooooh. Bandage contact as opposed to contact bandage. That makes more sense. I guess I was still a bit squicked at the whole "abrading" thing to really listen. :)

[tool-of-satan.livejournal.com]

Yup, that's all correct. I had one after my cornea transplant.

[dchenes.livejournal.com]

I suspect they'll numb the living heck out of your eye before they go at it with anything. They numb the living heck out of mine every time I go to the retina specialist. It's the optical equivalent of Novocain before dental work.

[kaasirpent]

Oh, yeah. :) They did that, yesterday, and it's a weird feeling. I asked the doctor if there was any chance I could get some of that stuff for my own personal use for when I have an eye-day and he was very fast on the "no." Apparently, it's not for unsupervised use. *sigh*

But he did give me samples of some stuff that should help with the pain. It's like "liquid Advil" or something. I forget exactly what he said. But he told me to use it next time I have an eye day to see if it helped the pain. Hopefully, I'll never have to open the bottle. :)

[dchenes.livejournal.com]

Putting contact lenses back into numbed eyeballs is very odd. I'm always afraid I'll poke myself in the eye too hard.

[kaasirpent]

*shudder* The mere thought of contact lenses makes my entire head throb. I don't think there's a way in Hell I could ever voluntarily put something like that in my eye. I can't even put eyedrops in without closing my eye, putting the drops in the corner, and then opening my eye and letting the drops trickle in that way.

@set me = pain_wimp

Of course, given my cornea problems, the chances of me ever wearing contact lenses are somewhere between "HA!" and "Are you JOKING?", so it's all moot. :)

Plus, I'm not sure I could get used to looking at the world unframed by the rims of my glasses. <--- (and those grapes were probably sour, anyway)