It's Time Once Again For Spam Poetry™

[kaasirpent]

At least now I understand why I have so much Spam advertising watches:

Girls kill for this
When you need to drill her
The secret of being an incredible lover is to have a big device.

Your watch will overshadow all the other timepieces.

Our watches are for people with refine taste.
Diamonds on your watch will shine so brightly.

Afford your designer watch as soon as today.
Cheap and fashionable watches do exist.
Popular watches that are easy to afford.
Attention! Unbelievably cheap watches.

Your heart tells you to buy this cheap fine watch.

It's great that the secret is so easily affordable. And, you know, my heart does tell me to buy a cheap, fine watch. It's uncanny!

I'm sorry, but sometimes my Spammers give me contradictory information. It's confusing:

Upgrade and update your love life by enlarging your penis.
Acai Elite will make you a few sizes smaller.

So, which is it? Do I "upgrade and update" or take Acai Elite and get a few sizes smaller? I'm so torn. :)

[Edit] In case anyone new to my LJ is wondering, Spam Poetry™ is when I troll through my Spam, looking for interesting juxtapositions in the subject lines and then composing a little poem using only the subjects of Spam messages verbatim. Occasionally, I take liberty with punctuation or removing random numbers or characters from the end of the subject, but that's getting rarer.