Nigerian Scam

[kaasirpent]

From a Nigerian Scam email I got, only this one claims to be from China. Methinks someone doth protest too much:

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones' way once in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once I find myself in total control of my destiny. These chances won't pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let's share the blessing.

So...I should call his bank and report him right away, right? I mean, that's what I get from reading this....

The sad part is that these emails are getting to be a significant part of my daily Spam. How many deposed leaders' widows are there in the world? How many dying, selfish, rich people could there possibly be who have suddenly found God and want to give me all their worldly possessions in the few, short months before they die?

I wish I had the kind of time it takes to play with these people. Scamming the scammers is something that definitely appeals to me.

Comments

[liddle-oldman.livejournal.com]

And how many yards of carpet does the email chew? William Shatner couldn't do it justice!

[oneeyeddaruma.livejournal.com]

"You may not know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move."

Sounds like Bernie Madoff's letter from prison... except for the whole "I am not a criminal" part - though that's what Ol' B.M. seemed to have believed.