More Ideas into the Æther

[kaasirpent]

It occurred to me this morning in the shower (so I actually wrote it down) that the networks are missing out on a veritable bonanza (no pun intended) of reality-show goodness. I mean, why limit the viewers to just one reality show at a time?

They could be combined.

Picture it:

America's Next Top Model + Project Runway + Top Chef

While the models compete to see who can out-bitch the others, the designers compete to clothe them and the chefs compete to prepare the most delectable bulimic binges for the battling beauties. The longer the models keep down the food, the higher the chef's score! Even I would watch this, and I hate reality TV. :)

Animal Cops + Dog Whisperer + Clean Sweep + Cops + Animal Psychic + Rescue, Ink

This very specific show would concentrate on the criminal element who hoard stuff and mistreat their pets. While the Cops + Animal Cops drag the drunk, obscenity-screaming, animal-abusing hoarders off in their wife-beaters, the (scary) Rescue, Ink guys would descend and rescue the perps' poor pets, but in a tough, tattooed, manly kind of way. Cesar Millan would then instantly rehabilitate any dogs that were found on scene, while the fraudulent moron lady from Pet Psychic would "commune" with any other pet to find out what horrible, horrible things the criminal types did to them. (I can virtually guarantee there wouldn't be a dry eye in any home watching this segment.) After she completes her side show "reading," the Rescue, Ink guys would go retrieve the perps from their cells and intimidate the Hell out of them, Scared Straight style. Then, after the freak show was done, the Clean Sweep guys would come in and help to organize the home prior to it being auctioned off. The arrested perpetrators' sentence would include being forced (Rescue, Ink) to spend time with Angelo Surmelis and not punch him in the face. Hours of entertainment!

Ghost Hunters + Ghost Whisperer + Medium

I know that two of these are not reality shows (as if the third has anything to do with "reality," but I'll try to hold back), but think of the possibilities! The plumbers frauds Ghost Hunter crew would hunt down haunted places, then the crossover episode of Ghost Whisperer and Medium would take place in and around the haunted locale. Hoaky ghost hunting, tear-jerking drama, and Patricia Arquette and her breasts! You can't go wrong!

Desperate Housewives + The Bachelor

Please. This one practically writes itself. Who wouldn't watch this?

There. I've gotten it off my chest. If you have any suggestions for other shows, add 'em in the comments! :)

If you're from one of the major networks and you're reading this, my rates are reasonable, at only $5000/hour. Have your people call my people and we'll do blah blah blah.

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[ikepigott.wordpress.com (from livejournal.com)]

Grey's Anatomy House

A group of highly confused residents and interns share an old home with a crotchety internist who lives to make them so insecure they'll fail to notice his pill-popping.

[fontosaurus.livejournal.com]

I've said it before, I'll say it again: my dream media mash-up is So You Think You Can Dances with Wolves.