Which Button Would You Press? Why?

[kaasirpent]

So this meme is going around. You're presented with these eight buttons of various colors, and I assume you can pick one to press and it bestows upon you the power described thereunder.

I saw it and thought that rather than give a one-word + one-sentence answer, I'd blather on for several paragraphs and treat it seriously. Because apparently I have nothing better to do right this second. :) And I'm going to tag it 'writing' because one of my characters has a couple of these abilities, and quite of bit of who he is is based on the ability and the problems it causes in his life.


Hmm. Let's see.

Now, some of my analysis changes depending on whether or not you can turn the ability on and off at will. :)

Red (Invisibility) - This could be entertaining, at least at first. But I can't think of any good reason to need to be invisible that doesn't involve committing some sort of crime or spying on people, and that's really not who I am. The pros would be . . . what, exactly? Hiding from people you don't want to deal with? You can do that without invisibility. If it's not something you can turn off — in other words, you're always invisible — it would be an instant 'no.' If it could be turned on only when needed . . . I'm still going to go with 'no.' Caveat: If I were a private investigator, police/FBI/CIA/Interpol, or something along those lines? Oh, hell yeah. Because it would help me do my job. Also note that it says "invisibility." It says nothing about nonodorousness (fine, you tell me what the parallel word for 'unable to be smelled' is), inaudibility, or intangibility. So if you sneezed or ate garlic . . .

Blue (Flying) - Has definite promise. I have to assume this one is "at will," because flying constantly would be really weird. :) I immediately conjure up images of me flying everywhere, under my own power. Even with rain and cold and lightning, it might still be worth it. It would take a lot of practice to get right. You'd have to avoid mid-air collisions with birds and trees and power lines and such. If I could combine this with Purple, it'd be an instant 'yes.' :)

Yellow (Telepathy) - I'm not sure this is an ability that any sane person would actually want. Can you imagine hearing what everyone around you is thinking all the time (assuming it can't be shut off)? I think the fun would wear off after you heard the unfiltered thoughts of someone you love and/or respect, and you find out all the things they think but don't say about you. And even if the ability could be turned off until you want it, the temptation would always be there to listen in where you shouldn't. I'll definitely pass. Caveat: If it could be turned off, and if I were — again — a law enforcement official, then I might say 'yes.' Because even though people might think they're telling the truth if they don't know any better (some homeopaths actually believe the bullshit), it would definitely catch people who know they're lying. But for me, as I am? No.

Green (Shapeshifting) - Now this has promise. I'd probably quickly settle on several "go-to" shapes: an otter, a hawk, and maybe a dolphin (for the beach). The drawbacks would be natural enemies, hunters, and that sort of thing. I mean, unless you always morph into an apex predator. But a lion wandering in suburban Georgia would draw a lot of attention. It would get the HOA off my case if I didn't mow my lawn promptly by 5:43 PM on Thursdays, though. Hmm. Another drawback would be whether I'd retain my own mind or actually become the animal. Being a hawk might be neat, but not if I become the bird, mind and all. I'll assume that since these are all magic, I somehow manage to retain my own personality. :) It's too bad about the non-extinct clause, though. It'd be fun being a T. rex, smilodon, or moa.

Orange (Sonic speed) - I was going to say 'supersonic,' but it specifically says 'at,' not 'beyond.' :) I can't imagine how this could be useful to me in the city. At that speed, it would be very hard to turn or brake. Imagine running to work from home. Sure, I could outpace all the traffic on I-85 and be there in record time, but if anything got in my way -- or I tripped, and let's face it: I'm a klutz -- I'd end up looking like the last bug that hit my windshield. Also, although the ability to run that fast is magic, where would the energy come from? I'd have to eat whole cows and fields of grain to get enough energy to sustain that kind of speed for very long. On the other hand: instant weight loss. :) But I'll pass.

Purple (Phasing) - Again, I'm not sure how useful this would be unless you have some criminal intent. Yeah, maybe you could rescue people or something, but see Pink below. And again, unless you could turn it off, this could get really annoying really quickly. Go to sleep and phase through the bed . . . and the floor . . . and into the ground . . . If you could turn it on only by desire, then it might be more useful, but again, I can't get past the Pink aspect.

Grey (Telekinesis) - This one also has possibilities. I'm not sure it trumps flying, though, or turning into any non-extinct animal. It'd be great for those times when you're really comfortable and want something from the next room. . . But no.

Pink (Healing) - My first impulse was to pick this one, but then I thought . . . imagine you could do this. And people found out. Which they would. Because it would show up on CNN and such. Think of what your life would become. Unless you saved literally everyone with a non-fatal wound, you'd be lynched in no time. "Why didn't you heal my baby's missing arm? Why did you heal that woman of her appendicitis? What makes her better than my little girl?" You'd have no privacy, no personal life . . . you couldn't even leave your house without having people swarming you, wanting healing. And the people who didn't understand the condition if it being a non-fatal wound, coming to you to cure cancer and AIDS and Down's and autism . . . it would be a living, breathing hell. Unless you could turn invisible and phase through stuff . . .

So we're down to Blue (flying) or Green (shapeshifting).

Yeah, I'mma go with Blue. Because flying. But my hand would hover over Green for a long time before pressing Blue. :)

Comments

[ex-prunesnp.livejournal.com]

Yellow was absolutely my first choice. Interesting how people's mind's work.

[kaasirpent]

Heh! Maybe I'm projecting all the unsaid things I think onto everyone else.

[thespian.livejournal.com]

The Thespian, before it was my bbs name and online alias, was a Champions superhero that I created when I was 14. She was an actress for work, and her ability to disappear into any role "made her the envy of her rivals on the stage" (that's a direct quote from the comic I wrote for her). She was also a shapeshifting superhero who fought crime when she was not on stage.

So there's not even a question for me.

Besides, any non-extinct animal includes birds. Birds can fly. Pick the one, get the other. I am surprised you didn't notice this.

[kaasirpent]

I did notice it. If you look under green, I name three animals: otter, hawk, and dolphin.

I just analyzed it further than I wrote on the page by thinking about how I'd rather fly as ME than as a bird. I didn't not notice it.

I never knew why you were "thespian." I assumed it was because you had a theater background. :)

Grey

[trilobits.livejournal.com]

With enough money, we can do most of the other things...in a car, plane, motorcycle, with medicine or robots. I dont want to read anyones mind, one is enough noise. So, Grey, with a finer description. Objects moving by teleop is doable. But if we extend "objects" to mean matter, that is, down to the atom, that would be the most unique and useful. That would also encompass healing, bypass surgery, fukushima amelioration. If by seeing, and knowing, you could rearrange matter, all rules would be off. Its the most complex of any of those buttons, grey. Computer broke? No problem. Cornea? Ditto. Rearranged matter. Now you have perfect vision, perfect veins, no heavy metals, no organic food, no residual pesticides in your kidney fat. Arsenic, lead, Fukushima, WTC bombs, no problem. Your car never breaks, no lock holds you, you can recreate money in any denomination, heal all wounds that you understand. The limit is only your mind, not anything physical. Then your whole life transforms into imagination, without limit. And isnt being as limitless as possible the point?

Re: Grey

[kaasirpent]

Hmm. I like your reasoning. :)

Missing in Action

[izmeina.livejournal.com]

This is a fun meme.

The Sales pitch for grey is very convincing but there's one button that I would pick in an instant and it is not there

Not quite flying - too uncomfortable and time consuming. Much more fun and useful would be the ability to apparate at will just like in the Potterverse but without the nasty nausea. And this particular ability depends on one's will to deploy it so randomly hopping about the planet is not necessarily a nasty side efect
Of course the usual rules of etiquette apply. You can't just end up in the Oval Office or some interesting Swiss bank vault.

This would have the advantage of more time to snooze, no soul sapping commute, being able to vanish instantly in awkward situations but best of all the ability to visit all sorts of exotic tourist destinations with no need to waste precious annual vacation time
You could even pop over to Paris for a coffee before work. Not sure what the rules would be for bringing stuff back.

But then again you cannot have everything

Re: Missing in Action

[kaasirpent]

"Rules of etiquette."

I think that is the problem with most of these. There would necessarily be so-called "good/moral/ethical" uses and so-called "bad/immoral/unethical" uses of the powers. The only thing stopping you from apparating inside the oval office is you. Unless others have the ability to stop you from doing it, and then we get into world-building. (Which I have done, because some of these powers aren't dissimilar to what my characters can do.)

Steven Gould wrote a book called Jumper that I highly recommend. In it, a teenager discovers his ability to apparate--or Jump--in a high-stress moment, and then basically has to learn his own rules and determine how best to use this ability. And there are some stumbles before he lands on something approaching a balance.

There's now a whole series of these books.

[tastyradish.livejournal.com]

This was interesting to read. I pretty much just skimmed the picture at first and half-heartedly decided on either red or gray. But now I feel like I should put a lot more thought into hypothetical questions.

[kaasirpent]

Or maybe it's a sign that I was really overthinking or bored. :)