Prose and Kaa

Those of you who know me or who have read this journal for very long have no doubt heard/seen me bitch, moan, and complain about how sick and tired I am of phones that aren't phones and do every damned thing other than make phone calls.

And you've probably also heard/seen me clutch, Gollum-like, at my existing, old-tech AT&T GoPhone (pay as you go), and heard/seen me bitch, moan, and complain at how the exorbitant amounts being charged monthly by my former carriers were nothing short of highway robbery, and that my pay-as-you-go plan was costing me less per month than I had ever paid under a standard plan.

( Clicky. )

 Joe Nickell - Why Investigate the Paranormal? by D.J. Grothe from For Good Reason (Rating: 0)

Last night I went to the Apple store at the MOG. I had an appointment for 7:30, and I showed up at 7:28.

I had to wait behind a roped-off area in front of the store. There were "cops"¹ posted inside the store to keep people from breaking in line.

Who knew?

I was fourth in line, so it took about 15 minutes for me to be called. I was escorted through the police barrier by a sky-blue-shirted Andy who noticed the USB thumb drive I was wearing around my neck and said, "You look like the kind of person that's done your research. So what machine may I help you with?"

Smart salesman, that Andy. :)

It only took me about 20 minutes to select the 17" Macbook Pro², which Andy expertly punched up on screen and completed the order, then took me to stand in line to give them money.

I waited another 15 minutes or so in that line, listening to other blue-shirted folks guiding other shoppers through their many choices.

There was a moment of tension at the cash register when I scanned my Discover Card and they declined the transaction. I quickly called them, correctly having guessed that it was the amount of the transaction that was the problem.³ I correctly identified my mother's maiden name, my zip code, social security number, the 11th number in the Fibonacci sequence, the 17th prime number in octal, my blood type, the air speed of an African (not European) swallow, and recited Jabberwocky in tlhIngan Hol⁴, so they were able to verify that I was, indeed, me. Transaction complete, I was handed my (shiny!) computer and sent on my way. On the way out, the sky-blue-shirted associate with whom I spoke two weeks ago on my first visit greeted me and congratulated me on my purchase.

I spent the next several hours...exploring. Yes, that's the word: exploring. :) I downloaded Saviar for TIM, Second Life, Scrivener for writing, and Adium for multi-platform IMing. And the battery was still at > 40% after several hours. I gave out and had to go to bed before it did.

Oh, the places we'll go! :)⁵

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1. They were uniformed, but I didn't look closely enough to determine if they were Mall Cops™ or The Real McCoy™.
2. For those who will inevitably ask for the specs: 2.8GHz Intel Core 2 duo, 4GB 1066MHz DDR3 SDRAM (2x2G), 500GB Serial ATA Drive @5400 rpm, 17" Hi-Resolution Glossy Widescreen display, Backlit keyboard, iWork '09, 1-year One to One membership, AppleCare Protection Plan.
3. I have never paid for anything this expensive before with a credit card, much less my Discover that I've only had for a couple of weeks...which was also part of the problem. They wanted to make sure no one had stolen it out of my mailbox. :)
4. That's Klingon for "Klingon language."
5. Gratuitous Dr. Seuss reference.