Prose and Kaa

Background

I have two laptops. I have The Shiny, and I have the most leatherific bag to tote it around in. It is, in fact, one of these, here. I mean, it is not physically possible for me to love it more than I do. (I even referred to it in the past as The Leather.)

I also, of course, have a BookBook, which I use when the other one is too bulky or if I just intend to carry it short distances.

At work, I have a Dell Precision M6500, which is also 17" (and henceforth, I shall refer to it as The Matte (Get it? Shiny? Matte? Oh, I slay me!). Which, of course, should not be confused with Matt. But I digress.

I have the nylon sleeve they gave me for The Matte, and I am sort of required by the nature of my job to bring it to work and take it home with me. Oh, and not lose it. They were very specific on that point . . .

On top of all that, I have a leather backpack from Wilson's Leather that is not altogether unlike this one, here. I use it for everything from accessories for the computers to books I'm reading, gaming supplies, and during Dragon*Con, I live out of it during the day. I shall call it The Backpack.

Problem

Since I have to bring The Matte with me, and I like to have The Shiny with me in case I need to work on something personal (like writing) during work hours, and I use The Backpack to carry other things I might need, I end up coming to work every morning with The Backpack strapped to my back, The Shiny in The Leather over my left shoulder and neck, and The Matte in its nylon sleeve over my right shoulder and neck.

In short, it cuts off circulation to my brain. :) And it's unwieldy trying to walk through the narrow gaps in the parking lot laden like a native guide in a 1940s "safari to deepest, darkest Africa" movie, in which the unlikely pair of usually pasty and annoyingly upperclass white protagonists with fakey-fakey "mid-Atlantic" accents that talk too fast insist on bringing a full bone china tea service—complete with tea cozy—out into the bush so they can "take tea" on the veldt whilst badly integrated, early green-screened lions stalk and kill equally badly integrated, early green-screened zebras or wildebeests in the background, and you ask yourself, "Why doesn't M!buk!u the native guide just break the tea set and leave bwana and bwanette to get their own damned tea?"

<sigh> Where was I? Oh, right.

Desire

I'd really, really, really like a rolling bag that would securely hold both The Shiny and The Matte and have room for the other junk in The Backpack.

Now, The Shiny is thin and light without The Leather. The Matte is . . . well, not. It's a lot heavier, and the power cord and such aren't designed to fit in the sleeve that comes with it. I leave those home, anyway, since there were two sets. But if I'm traveling . . .

Searching online for "dual laptop bags" or "bag to hold two laptops," I run into . . . pretty much nothing. There doesn't seem to be anyone out there, anywhere, that makes something like what I want. To wit: something wheeled and big enough to hold two 17" laptops and accessories. That isn't the size of a Hum-V and twice as expensive. (I mean, there's the Saddleback Leather Duffel Overnight Bag, which I'm practically drooling over, but at nearly $600, it seems a bit overblown, especially considering I'd need to get a couple of sleeves to put the laptops in (probably not this, since that's another $75, each) to make sure they don't jostle around too much.)

So I ask The Hivemind (I'm going to stop doing that, now): Do you know of a suitable rolling bag that is sizable enough to carry all this stuff, doesn't cost a fortune, and won't disintegrate the first time it's used? (You'd likely be shocked by how many things do.)

I'm more interested in things you've actually used/seen than in you doing the same Google search I did and finding the same links I did, without much useful information on exactly how much will fit into the thing. Let's assume that I know how to use Google and that I've done so rather exhaustively. :)

I prefer leather (Really? Shocking . . . ), but any material will do if it's good quality.

I seldom fly, so the whole 'will it fit in an overhead bin or underneath an airline seat' thing is not really a concern for me. Nor is making it easy for TSA to search the bag.

And, since one person I mentioned this to went on at some length about how I should "just" get my IT department at work to image my work laptop and use The Shiny to run a virtual Windows XP, thereby eliminating the need for two computers . . . that isn't really an option. For either me or the IT group here.

I'll be visiting various stores and looking in person, too, of course. And probably drool some more over Saddleback's products. But if you have any recommendations, do let me know. :)

Boy, howdy, I really know how to milk a vacation for all it's worth. Lemme 'splain.

I mentioned yesterday that I had been to the doctor and gotten a prescription for diverticulitis. That was Monday. The pain was worse Tuesday, and even worse yesterday. So...you guessed it, as soon as I got up, I pulled on my sweats and without even taking a shower, I went back to the doctor. I saw a different doctor, had to go through all the symptoms again, assuring her that it really, really, truly, for sure, 100% is very much not a kidney stone. I've had those and I've had diverticulitis. I can tell the difference. They drew blood. Not sure why.

After about an hour, there, I finally got a prescription for three more days of the Cipro the first doctor gave me (she gave me 7 days, not 10 as is normal), and Metronidazole, which is a generic for Flagyll. Both are super-powerful antibiotics used when the infection is in the abdominal/intestinal area. I told the guy at CVS I'd pick up the drugs at 1 PM.

Why am I telling you this? Because it actually is important. Bear with me.

I had a tasty lunch of stir-fried ham with celery, onions, and spinach. Seriously tasty. Then I went back to pick up my prescriptions. When I drove up, I knew there was a problem. The guy said, "You had three prescriptions, right?"

"Uh, no. Two."

"Hmm. I show one for Glimepiride, one for Metronidazole, and one for One-Touch testing strips." Just to be clear, I had given them two prescriptions, neither of them for Glimepiride (a medicine I used to take but no longer do) or testing strips (I have an adequate supply).

"I'm coming inside."

So I hobbled in bent at a jaunty 30° angle, and carefully, due to the abdominal pain. Still dressed in my ratty sweats and with no shower, because I hadn't intended to go out in public. But whatever.

We finally got the prescription SNAFU straightened out. What happened was that because I had just gotten another prescription for Cipro filled two days before, they assumed (remember that 'ass u me' thing?) that it was the same prescription and didn't bother filling it. I corrected them, explained the situation...and then found out that the insurance company wouldn't pay for it because...that's right! Two prescriptions for the same drug in as many days flags something and they simply won't cover it unless blah de blah de blah. I didn't have the time for all that, so I just paid and left. I'll deal with Caremark later. The pharmacist started explaining the process of resubmission of a claim, and I interrupted with, "I work for a company that handles that kind of stuff. I wrote a good bit of the code, so I know how it works." I smiled to let her know I wasn't just being a jerk. I also used the actual name of my company, which she recognized instantly. I left. Carefully, due to the abdominal pain.

Also on the agenda for yesterday was the delivery of my new Droid^x phone. I knew this because I got email from TrackThis saying "Out for delivery." So I knew that at some point during the day, the UPS guy would come to the house.

In the past, UPS and I have had...disagreements. Over little things. Like not bothering to knock and just putting a post-it on the door saying no one was home when someone (i.e., me) very much was. Or tossing boxes into the squelchy mud to the right of my door. (This was done ostensibly to prevent the package from being visible from the road, but I digress.) Or refusing to leave packages even when I demanded to do so because they were deemed "expensive" and the driver wanted to cover his ass. I wasn't sure if I had to sign for the (expensive?) phone or not, so I decided to make damned good and sure that he knew someone was home and that he would not get the chance to make me drive down to the UPS depot to pick up my merchandise. (This happens to me a lot.)

I parked my car in the driveway facing out. I left my garage door up. I unlocked and left the keys hanging (on the inside) in the knob of the front door for easy access (it requires keys to open it from either side). I left lights on. I made sure loud music was playing. I even opened the blinds to the right of my door so I could see from The Chair *evil chord* if someone approached the door. I listened carefully for telltale sounds of trucks approaching. It didn't help that school buses sound a lot like UPS trucks. It also didn't help that yesterday was trash-pickup day in the neighborhood, and that garbage trucks also sound a lot like UPS trucks. I popped up (carefully, due to the abdominal pain) every few minutes only to be disappointed.

At last, I heard a truck and lo! it was brown. And it stopped in front of my house. And a man got out! And he was carrying a large box! And I scared the crap out of him when I yanked open the door as he approached and reached out for the box like a starving man reaching for a Big Mac. (Incidentally, he was not going to knock. He was already bending to put the box into the squelchy mud when I yanked the door open.)

In retrospect, it probably was very...different...for him. :)

I tore into the box and quickly got my new phone working.

Flash forward about four hours...and a lot of phone-play. :)

It was dark, I had just had dinner (tuna salad with celery, pickles, and radishes, and field peas on the side). I thought, "Oh, right. I left my car parked in the driveway. I should go move that into the garage."

So I hobbled outside (carefully, due to the abdominal pain) and saw that, at some point over the last four hours, it had rained.

I remarked, out loud, "Oh, it must have rai—"

Why did I not finish the thought?

Because I took one...maybe two steps at most out onto what I thought was the wet cement of my driveway only to find out the hard (get it? hard? cement? I SLAY ME!) way that it was not wet but icy.

My right foot shot out from under me like a greased piglet. I tried to catch myself...with my left foot. Which also shot out from under me like...another greased piglet.

In short, I hit the ground. Hard. And then, because of the aforementioned ice, slid a few feet down the gentle slope of my driveway toward my car. I managed to stop the slide and then, because I couldn't get my feet or hands under me (ice is surprisingly slick), rolled and crawled on my belly (remember that abdominal pain I mentioned a time or two?) back up the icy driveway to my garage. I rolled over on my back and lay on the nice, rough (very cold) surface of my garage floor for a few minutes trying to decide if the pain in my left knee and right hand and wrist were anything permanent or just temporary. Unfortunately, I was so cold that it was hard to tell.

Amusingly, as I lay there in the garage, moaning, the first thing that occurred to me was, "I'm so glad I didn't have my new phone with me. I might have broken it."

I slowly got to my feet and hobbled (carefully, due to the knee pain) back inside, where I flumped myself down in The Chair *evil chord* and assessed my damage.

By the time I went to bed about three hours later (after an aspirin or two and a hot shower), I had started to stiffen up. And the abdominal pain, which had mysteriously subsided while I was struggling to crawl up an icy driveway, was back in force.

Today, when I woke up, it was supremely hard to get out of bed. I'm not at all bruised, which is a shock. But every joint from my knees to my neck hurts. You know that old man character that Tim Conway used to do on The Carol Burnett Show? Yeah. That's me, today. Minus the hair.

Going up and down stairs is especially fun. Even sitting in The Chair *evil chord* as I am, now, my left knee is throbbing. My wrists are both a little painful, as is my lower back and my neck.

My abdominal pain is better, though. Must be the Metronidazole and Cipro.

Today, dammit, I'm staying in the house. You don't have to hit me over the head but four or five times with a brick before I learn to be careful.

In retrospect, I think I should have worked this week. I would have been safer.

 Mr. Deity and the Barbecue by mrdeity.com from Mr. Deity (Rating: 0)

My life has become an After School Special. :) "It's the peer pressure, man!"

Pretty much everyone I know has a Smartphone of some type: iPhone, Blackberry, Android... And most of those people take every opportunity to tell me how crappy and awful my phone is because it can't access the IntarwebZ, take pictures, act as a GPS, make toast, perform 26-dimensional string-theory calculations, and emulate a Kindle.

I have a phone. It's just a phone. It doesn't take pictures. It can, unfortunately, access some castrated version of the Internet, which costs me out the wazoo (I've accidentally connected a time or two while trying to do something else). It has the capability of texting, but I turned that off almost immediately because I started to get spam texts at 15¢/text, and for each one I had to call AT&T and beg them to reimburse me; it just wasn't worth the hassle.

In short, it does what I need: it receives and makes phone calls.

Unfortunately, it doesn't do this very well. Because it's so old (Have you tried to find a phone that doesn't have all the gewgaws like a camera and Internet on it?), the battery has about had it, and it can only hold a charge through about two or three phone calls. And a new battery costs more than a new phone would cost.

I've often said that although I am a phone Luddite, when I do take the plunge, I'm going to go all the way.

One of my friends has an Android phone that she bought at CostCo for almost nothing ($35? A pittance!). I went with her to CostCo the other day and we looked at the kiosk with all the phones, but 1) it was a bit overwhelming and 2) the sales guys were unbelievable. I'm perfectly capable of looking at a stupid phone by myself, but from the moment we walked up until the moment I managed an escape, we were subjected to questions and unrelenting "pitch."

I don't react well to hard sell.

So I grabbed a brochure and we did the rest of our shopping.

Today, I'm looking at the brochure we picked up. It happens to be for Verizon. I've never had Verizon before, so I have nothing negative to say about them. T-Mobile is right out (it's a long story). I currently have AT&T, and I'm not so thrilled with them that I'm gung-ho on keeping them, either.

I used to have AT&T's lowest-cost plan, with 450 minutes per month. It was $55/month (they claimed it was $35, but I never once had a month lower than $53). I then changed my plan to pre-paid. I put $100 on the pre-paid plan approximately every 4-5 months and each call, in or out, is 25¢/minute. Texting is another 15¢/text, but as I said, I turned that off from the get-go. I have not had a single complaint about the go-phone (well, not since I opened the account, anyway) other than the lack of decent battery life, but that's the phone and not the plan.

So, I can either pony up the dough to buy a new battery for an old phone (it'd be like buying a 1T hard drive to go in an IBM AT); give in and get a new phone, but stay with the pre-paid plan; get a new phone and sign up for a new plan that isn't pre-paid; or go all the way and get a smart phone with all the gewgaws, including IntarwebZ and a camera.

What I want to know is: What is so compelling about smart phones? The plan I would most likely go for is 450 minutes/month (which I will never even come close to using) for $40 (no texting—I'm still not sold that there's any reason for texting, ever) + the 3G Smartphone data package at $30/month.

So that puts me at $70/month, which is what I'm currently paying for about 2 – 2.5 months.

This is my question: What compelling reasons can those of you who have Smartphones give me that the $70/month is actually worth it? Especially considering that it'll more likely be closer to $90/month after all the fees and charges and trumped-up extras are tacked on. (Who, me? Cynical? Never.)

I really do want to know. I just...can't see it for myself. But I have to be the odd one out, considering that (almost) everyone I know has a Smartphone.